One day a while ago, my Interneting led me to a life changing discovery: Audre Lorde. At the time, feminism seemed a bit complex and in hindsight, I realise that it was and it still is made to seem complex by the systems in place which thrive on the ideas that MY feminism and other feminisms seek to dismantle. Our modern day make up as Basotho is rooted – to say the least in patriarchal, capitalistic and a heteronormative school of thought which is advanced by Lesotho’s hegemonic Christianity. It is without doubt that these ideologies influence our every day lives. They unfortunately have become the meat/fabric of our collective being. Additionally, there are insinuations made by different things like whiteness for example in relation to Africans as the result of colonisation, that make creating a politic born out of the necessities of Africans is impossible. Because of that and many other reasons, unlearning the bullshit by way of feminism (and feminisming) in order to create such a politic seems complex. So, there I was, a young queer Mosotho feminist woman that was a bit aware of the state of things reading some of the things I felt I didn’t know how to say penned remarkably.
Audre Lorde was (is) a Black Lesbian Feminist Poet that spoke about self preservation otherwise known as self care during a time when black people were overtly dehumanised. One important lesson I learned from her was bringing all of your many selves to the table. I learned that spaces that silenced one of my (our) many selves were oppressive through how she always sought to make her many selves known. In fact I just realised right now that that was a form of claiming visibility. That lesson sparked the creation of The Project. I birthed The Project because of my personal need of having a space in Lesotho that love, joy and community were synonymous to activism. I yearned to create a platform primarily for women to interact and to build a space that mobilizes our differences.
In order to create such a space I had to unlearn and overcome silence. I know for sure that silence aids injustice and it also immobilizes us. Audre Lorde says in ‘The Transformation Of Silence Into Language And Action’ a chapter from ‘Sister Outsider and A Burst of Light’ that “the transformation of silence into language and action is an act of self-revelation, and that always seems fraught with danger.” This speaks to how our socialization conditions us to respect fear and neglect our need to articulate our desires. Because of that socialization, sometimes speaking and owning my need for language and definitions chokes me with fear. Most times fear leads to silence but I have learned that my silence will not protect me hence I chose to speak through The Project. The Project’s main directive as a function is to create spaces and platforms primarily for women to engage in ways rooted in self-preservation. Through it I seek to bridge differences through intersectional feminism and speaking of which I hope will lead to a creation of a politic born out the necessities of Basotho women and those that don’t conform to heteronormativity primarily.
Some days transforming silence to language is undoing the silences I have inherited from my mother. Some of these silences are what make women gatekeepers of patriarchy. They are the oppressions we have internalized and embrace knowingly and unknowingly. More often than not, these silences are rooted and engendered by respectability politics which recently manifested through women berating and humiliating another woman for wearing a “skimpy” jumpsuit a le pregnant. Other days it is teaching my mother how to say VAGINA out loud. Most days it is acknowledging ways in which I was and continue to be a weapon to myself and other bodies. Sometimes it is crying and raging wildy. Today though, it is typing this blog post and betraying my fears of not being good enough to articulate my need for language and transformation in Lesotho. Transformation in its totality is what I and Lesotho needs not reforms. It is also me undoing the many years of being a marching and discussing nation that does not implement as much as it marches and discusses. Please note that I don’t look down upon the functions others chose to contribute in the pursuit of creating a language. However, this is me simply awakening the things that sleep on me and the first step is awakening myself and undoing my silences.
ramblings and endeavours 